Pop Shield

I am working on the Manchester and Liverpool legs of a ‘live’ tour with Bucket FM. ‘Live’ as in simultaneously live to radio, TV, Internet and arena-sized audiences.

Crossing into a live stage show on TV in the middle of a radio show is always going to present cueing difficulties. It needs a really clear chain of authoritative command presiding over the proceedings with an excellent network of communications and contingencies in place. A military operation if you like. And if the soldiers aren’t properly briefed, well, there are going to be some casualties on your hands.

The problems often start when the performing artist is not completely in the picture, or doesn’t ‘get it’, maybe doesn’t care – not to mention wardrobe malfunctions, in-ear monitor problems, instrument faults and so on. The last time I experienced a hitch along these lines it was because Damian Allbarge from Wibble had randomly wandered off at the wrong moment to clean his teeth. There were similar problems on Ronan O’Riley’s show in Aberdeen trying to get Mooby to STOP playing. This time we are in Liverpool, and it is rapper Devilish’s turn to hold up the proceedings. Devilish wasn’t actually present for soundcheck, which doesn’t bode well, although his band were. His ‘band’ being more of a score of session musicians, if that’s the collective term. Or a herd perhaps? As in ‘a herd of cats’ rather than ‘a herd of sheep’. As we witness later in the story. For now, you can picture them wandering around a vast backstage area catching mice.

So, it’s ten minutes to showtime and the stage seems disconcertingly lifeless. The audience are in. The radio show is on air with presenters on long range radio mics wandering around that vast backstage world interspersed with records played from base. Devilish’s monitor engineer reappears and switches on his radio mics. Immediately I can hear in my headset that there is interference all over the main vocal mic. The guy tries to sort it out and, in the meantime, I arrange for a spare wired mic to be run out in case of problems on the main RF mic during the show. Before I know it, it’s showtime.

Working out what the heck is going on in your headset in a really noisy venue is an art in itself. Over the din of the stage and PA you’ve got to sort out the talkback between monitors and house, local and distant production, stage and truck, over the outputs of the truck music desk, truck broadcast desk and cue from base.

At the prearranged time, in my headset I hear a voice [production] cueing a run-up CD track from the DJ decks on stage which is to lead up to Devilish’s set. It doesn’t start. A voice [truck] “We don’t have the decks”. A third voice [base] “I’ve got a record standing by”. A fourth voice [production] “They didn’t start the CD because the band weren’t ready, go to music”. And a fifth [presenter] ”we apologise for technical difficulties in Liverpool this evening, in the meantime here’s a record…” A sixth [production] “OK, now we have a band”.

By this time there is a filler record from base being played on the radio. But in car crash style, the band, having been successfully rounded up, somehow all run on stage and start playing to rapturous applause. Another voice [production] “the band have gone on!” But of course, the venue is no longer live to air so now the broadcast now has to catch up with the band.

And we’re off. I notice somebody running out to rescue a keyboard in the middle of the stage belonging to a guest vocalist which was not removed after soundcheck. It then becomes apparent that Devilish missed the soundcheck because he is ill, and his voice had failed. He is completely hoarse and can barely speak. Nobody thought to mention this to us, nor explain that a clean vocal would magically appear on Track 7 which was silent during soundcheck. The official line was ‘Track 7 probably won’t be used’. Luckily Guy has it on his desk and faded up. Phew!

Then it’s time for the guest singer to come on stage to sing on Devilish’s new single. During soundcheck she had been persuaded to MIME playing the keyboard to a piano line coming from one of the playback tracks. She was pretty reluctant in case she would look stupid, but as she was making quite a fuss over things nobody seemed to be paying attention.

The tech is late in bringing the keyboard back on in time for the song. The guest artist is announced to rapturous applause and then awkwardly stands while her vocal mic is placed. The backing track starts early and so she has no option but to start miming at the keyboard. The tech runs off but over the far side of the stage I can see the central joint of the vocal mic stand is loose and the boom arm is starting to slip downwards. No one is coming to her rescue. I consider it, but there are too many obstacles to get out there in time. What should she do? Take her hands off the keys and raise the vocal mic but expose the miming. Or carry on pretending to play the keys and risk losing the live vocal? She makes the only choice – fixes the vocal, to hell with the keys. She was right, she was made to look stupid.

And there we have it. One casualty of friendly fire on the stage, a couple of injuries in the truck and a few bodies strewn about backstage. That’s about the extent of the damage. For what it’s worth, the radio mics remain stable. This has been a skirmish, but not on the scale of The Grand Battle of Crayzee last July.