Pop Shield

Tales Of A Radio Sound Engineer. This blog is dedicated to Caroline who kicked my ass to do it. Follow @popshield on Twitter @Popshieldblog on Facebook.

Category: The Mothership

March 11, 2014

Radio Gold

As you know, I am not a massive fan of awards ceremonies. I attended one his evening, for Rupert’s sake, as a programme we and G worked on was up for a technical excellence award. It was only when the category was called that I became suddenly clammy at the prospect of potentially being pushed on mic by my colleagues without having given a moment’s thought to what to say.

I breathed a sigh of relief when Mike, Rupert and Roger Andrews won the category for a different production and shuffled up on the stage in their anoraks. Looking rather like a bunch of technicians that had just won an award.

Later in the show, it transpired that a session that I had mixed for Bucket FM had won the Most Distinctive Moment Of The Year award. I can still recall the planning of this show with some affection. I am sure that had the contents been submitted to the judges that they would have awarded us for the Best Email Chain In The Technical Planning Of A Radio Session award.

See what you think.

________________________________________

——- Original Message ——-

From: Roger Andrews

Sent: Tuesday, April 30, 2013 05:10 PM

To: Nick; Pop

Cc: Sam

Subject: Ricardo The Bard

HI Nick and Pop

so Ricardo The Bard is a spoken word MC

and his set up fits the lounge to a T.

He’ll have a bass player, piano and ‘tings

and four vocalists with him, each of which sings.

The start time will be 10 am o’clock

and they will rehearse till the bands starts to rock

on air will be at about midday,

and hopefully for that you will stay.

I am likely to be unavoidably detained,

due to a breakfast show tour that’s been previously arranged.

I’m sure that you will find this is ok

and will mix as usual from 28A

Piano

4 BV’s

lead vocal

bass

Roger

Roger Andrews

Senior Producer for Live Music

YouthTube / Bucket FM

The Corporation

roger.andrews@corp.co.uk

________________________________________

On 30 Apr 2013, at 17:29, Sam wrote:

Pop and Nick

Make it slick

Go with the flow

Mix real slow

For Roger bro

Who can’t make the party

Cos he got to go do Grotty.

Sam

________________________________________

From: Pop Shield

Sent: Tuesday, April 30, 2013 5:30 AM

To: Sam

Cc: Roger Andrews; Nick

Subject: Re: Ricardo The Bard

Roger – OMG! You got dat rhyme down to a Dogg Cuppa T (referencing when Nick politely offered rapper Mr Dogg a corporation cup of tea)

And Sammy too, you riddim sublime! You two are like Roger and Hammerstein.

So go dotty wit Grotty like a superfly guy. On me and slick Nick you can rely!

Pop

——————————————-

This e-mail (and any attachments) is confidential and may contain personal views which are not the views of The Corporation unless they are the views of The Corporation. If you have received it in error, please forward it to your address list. Please use, copy and disclose the information in any way you wish and act in reliance on it and do not notify the sender. Please note that The Corporation often loses e-mails sent or received. Further communication will signify your approval of this.

Image | February 7, 2014

In case you had been wondering what the beeps look like in real life…

February 5, 2014

Beep Beep Hooray!

Followers of this blog will know that I am a fan of the London Time Signal. You may recall my story about the day the beeps showed up late on Jack Daniel’s show – with a leap pip in tow, no less.

Well today marks the 90th birthday of the beeps.

They were designed in 1924 by the Corporations General Director Lord Ron Teeth and a Royal astronomer named Hank Sideboffin. The were generated from a mechanical dinosaur in an observatory in Greenwich.

The last long pip was not born until 1974, so it is only forty years old.

Image | January 31, 2014

Introducing…The Unity Gain Game! The other day, whilst mixing in The Lounge, I set Eusabio a sad little challenge. By ‘sad’ I mean fun. By ‘challenge’ I mean mix three vocals, a keyboard and a presenter live to air WITHOUT TOUCHING ANY FADERS. All faders must remain on 0. It was a success.

August 7, 2013

Time For Tea?

On 1st April 2007, the Actual Time Signal being transmitted from Rugby was turned off. From that point onwards, the MSF radio signal has been broadcast twenty-four hours a day from The National Physical Laboratory in Anthorn, Cumbria. It operates on a frequency of 60kHz and carries a date and time code that can be received and decoded by a wide range of readily available radio-controlled clocks. That is, every single flaming clock in the country bar the one in the Little Sister workshop. Where it has been four o’clock for several years now. It’s been driving me nuts and has panicked most of the visitors to the workshop into thinking they are late for something.

Whether it’s the decrease in effective radiated power of the transmitter, or perhaps the fact that with lead windows and a building frame full of metal, the clock is sitting in a faraday cage – who knows. But at lunchtime today, I finally decided that enough was enough and I took the clock for a little walk to try and catch the code.

First of all, I replaced the old AA battery with a fresh one. The clock hands started spinning around as usual. Then, I crossed the public piazza into the sunshine and stood and waited. A man approached me. ”What are you doing?” he asked. ”I’m waiting for a signal” I said. “What’s that, solar-powered?” ”Not quite.” I replied. “It’s radio-controlled.” ”Well. I have mental health problems and I’m pretty sure the sunshine does something funny to MY brain mechanism” comes the unexpected reply. At that moment, the clock hands whizz straight past the current time (1:12pm) and I conclude it might be time to move on. I bid the gentleman goodbye and head off. Intended destination: The roof of The Mothership.

“Nice watch!” quips the security guard as I pass through reception. I enter the art deco elevator, press 7, and head for the balcony on the seventh floor, where Dublin rockers Me Too famously played. Oh, and where Maso Mercury – somewhat less famously – pastiched it a couple of weeks ago. It’s dead nice up there!

On the seventh floor, I slip outside through the sliding door, which is ajar. I park myself – admittedly, a little self-consciously – on a wooden picnic chair with the clock in my lap. I replace the battery again. The hands whizz around to midday. I wait. Nothing.

Oh god, if I’m not going to pick it up here, where the hell am I? I try again. Spins round to four o’clock then stops. For ages. Right, that’s it, I haven’t got all day to wait for this to sort itself. I give up.

So, thwarted, I walk back to Little Sister and replace the clock on the wall. Ten minutes or so later, Justin sticks his head around the door of the workshop. ”Can I jump in here later?” he asks. ”Of course, what kind of time?” I reply. ”Hmm, about four-ish?” he says, and then he clocks the clock. “Oh gawd, it’s not that time already?!“he exclaims. ”Oh no, don’t worry, it’s always four o’clock in here” I say. “I’ll see you later, Justin. Just come back whenever you want, rest assured it will be 4pm.”

Quote | July 22, 2013

Simple Things

But how do you turn it on? It’s all these funny knob things!

Mate displays his 24 years of engineering experience.
Image | June 15, 2013

Another successful transmission. VDJ live to radio, internet and TV. From studios belonging to another network – all pretty tricky!

June 12, 2013

We Are Not Amused

There was a big hubbub around the corporation on Friday, when we had a royal visitor come to open the new building.  This prompted a very surreal piece of TV where the narrative follows the queen as she enters the newsroom to a flood of journalists and staff filming and taking photos, then it cuts to the corporation newsreaders behind the glass turning round and looking out at the queen as the queen looks at them, whilst the internal media circus captures it all on camera.  Looking at the footage is like a man painting a picture of a man painting a picture… it makes your head go a bit funny.

Speaking of funny, later on the queen is forced to sit on an uncomfortable chair in The Lounge whilst high-maintenance luke-warm soft-rock act The Scroll sing a ballad at her in an excruciating fashion.  Prior to this moment, I am reliably informed that an advance-party aide came in and declared which instruments were too loud (points at acoustic guitar) and must be turned down.  Throughout the performance the queen has a face like thunder – wouldn’t you – she claps ONCE, grabs for her handbag and makes a run for it.

I don’t know which is more exciting, royalty in The Lounge, or the fact that Mate is on the knobs and furthermore he is rumoured to have been wearing a beige suit especially for the occasion.

Update: Mate previously spotted wearing said suit at his wedding.

June 3, 2013

Ins And Outs…

The heavy art deco doors at the entrance to the Old Mothership may be beautiful, but boy are they dysfunctional. They consist of two sets of three double doors, and on any given day a random two of the six ever seem to be working. They open automatically, but so slowly that you have to walk like a prowling tiger with an uncomfortable stop-start gait, trying to disguise your fear that they might swallow you up altogether.

Once inside the entrance, the two revolving security doors fare no better. Far too small for some of us, they require more of a tap on the card reader – dash – penguin shuffle action. I’ve seen portly colleagues get right stuck in them and cause a ruckus.

Years ago, when everyone told me how hard it was to get into the Corporation, I didn’t realise they meant this.

So, imagine my delight when I entered the building recently to discover that the two revolving doors have been replaced by one enormous glass revolving door. Hurrah! At last, we can enter our workplace through something which has been sensibly designed!

So, I carry out my shift and come back down to the entrance ready to exit the lovely new door. But when I get there, there’s a commotion going on with staff backed-up along the corridor and a security guard shouting through the glass ‘Pull it out! You’ve got to PULL IT OUT to reset it!”.

Hmm, now what’s this all about? Well, it immediately becomes clear. In order for the door to revolve you have to press a button. But no, not the HUGE RED BUTTON RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR NOSE but the high up insignificant-looking camouflaged black button up at the top. Hurrah – another triumph!

December 18, 2012

Not So Clever

Confusion reigned in the theatre this evening when Jill asked me to head out to the auditorium and check the level of the PA during an audience recording of Cleverclogs.

I enter the auditorium, and at that EXACT moment the theatre working lights spontaneously come up and the PA falls silent.

I rush back to the cubicle to report to Jill what is happening and to find out what might be going on. She doesn’t know, and stabs at various lighting state buttons to no avail. I make a series of swift phone calls to the maintenance engineers, the theatre manager, the Broadcast Manager and the facilities manager. The production team begin to panic, asking what’s going on and when it is going to be fixed. The Cleverclogs panel are left stranded on the stage shouting ad libs at the audience for what I am later stunned to find out is nearly half an hour.

Finally, the producer heads out to the audience to brief them on the situation. Bang on cue, the lights go out and the PA comes back on. We can now get on with the rest of the show, which the audience appear to enjoy about five hundred times more than normal. I end up staying extra late filling out reports and sending emails to talk about what happened. There had been problems in the Fire Control Room in isolating the theatre from some fire PA testing. This caused the theatre to enter a fire alert state. Not a barrel of laughs you might say!