Pop Shield

We are prerecording an episode of Culture Chat today and the producer is making me giggle with her various pointers to the BA as to how to recognise the guests arriving in reception.

“Look for big I mean BIG hair, think Leon Sawyer…. You’re after a thin guy with wandering eyes that meet in the middle…” and so on.

“OMG, Pop! I’m SO excited about the baby!”  exudes presenter Bambi Twinkletoes when she arrives at the studio.  “Now, you know that you mustn’t be in a rush to leave the hospital don’t you!  Take as long as you need….“

I make a mental addition to the long list of celebrity baby advice I am collating.  It’s never ending.  “DRUGS ARE BRILLIANT!!” shrieks Cat Thornley to me in a mildly unhinged fashion on the talkback.

From Clarice: “Don’t forget to breathe!  Oh, and write it all down afterwards or you won’t remember a thing”.

Cheers Clarice. Tablet and finger at the ready.

“If I don’t see you, good luck!” Says Maso Mercury and gives me a heart-warming hug as I pass him by the lifts. Everyone is being so NICE.

Back to Bambi. “Gosh!  And what are you going to call the baby?”

“We’re not 100% decided yet, Twink, so if you have any good suggestions, now is your chance.”

“Well!  For a girl I just LOVE all the lovely flower names!  Mmm. Lovely!  And for a boy you’ve got to call it BUZZ!  I mean it’s just brilliant and [sotto voce] no one’s done it yet.  It’s there for the taking!”

This is not entirely true as I’m aware of two celebrities who have named their offspring ‘Buzz’ in the last year or two, but there’s no denying it’s probably not a name that is ringing around the playgrounds of Great Britain quite yet. Thanks Bambi, methinks that’s a very fitting name suggestion for the future offspring of a sound engineer and a physicist.

Watch this (outer) space.