Pop Shield

Keyboardist: “Can I have another pair of headphones to plug into his [portable] headphone box because I want to play my keyboard by the drummer, not here.”

Me (on talkback): “You could. But I don’t have any in here. So, it would be much simpler to just move yours over to where you are playing.”

Keyboardist: “But I can’t use my headphones as they are attached to the box.”

Me: “I meant it’s simpler to just move the box.”

Singer: “Yes but the box is over here, and he wants to go there.”

Me (under my breath) “Oh my word! You just pick it up! It’s hardly rocket science!”

Me (on talkback) “Hold on. I’m coming in to move the box.”

I go into the studio and pick up the headphone box on put it down in the desired place.

Me: “There! Headphones!” OK?”

I walk back into the control room to a round of applause and laughter from the assembled crew of techs/FOH engineers/ production & tour manager. They are clearly demob happy that someone else is at the receiving end of the band’s childish demands for a change.