Pop Shield

Producer (on talkback to caller on telephone balance unit number 1: “You’ll be on straight after the travel, Den.  It is Den, isn’t it?”

Den (in a thick West Country accent via a bad line from the M4): “Szz Bnnn!”

Producer: “Oh, sorry, Ben, Arthur will speak to you any moment.”

Arthur Tartar: “Now, we’re going to speak to Den!”

Den: “Ashhraharahan, Arter.”

Arthur: “Say again?”

Den: “Uts Dygnnnn”

Arthur: “It’s Dan.  Nice to have you on Dan.” (repeats Dan several times during the conversation to make up for having called him Den.  Production team all start frantically bigmouthing “BEEE!” through the glass whilst air-drawing ginormous letter Bs.)

Producer (on talkback to Arthur): “Ben! Ben!”

Arthur: “Let’s leave it there, that’s fine.  And it’s Ben, isn’t it?”

Dan: “Yssh.”

Arthur: “OK very good. And what would you like us to hear?”

Ben: “Oy wd loyk the comboyn harrvuster sarng, etz moy favourite sarng.  Et hars me and moy dard in stetchess.”

Arthur: “Consider it done, Ben.”