Pop Shield

Matthew: “Yes get nice and close to the mic because Little Sister like a nice, compressed sound. Nigel.”

Richard: “Lovely”

Nigel: “Yes, I’m hearing you. Are you hearing me ok?”

Matthew: “Yes, Reg. Reg. Reg!! REG!!!! Can you talk into your microphone?”

Nigel: “Talk – into – your – microphone.”

Reg: “Can you hear me now?”

Everyone: “YES!”

Matthew: “Can you hear yourself?”

Reg: “I’m talking, I’m talking, hello, hello. Hello.”

Malcolm: “He’s saving up for a deaf aid.”

Nigel: “Reg. Can you hear us?”

Mick: “Can you hear Nigel talking?”

Silence from Reg.

Malcolm: “No he can’t”

Matthew: “Reg. Reg!! REG!!!! Can you hear us as well?”

Mick: “He hasn’t got his channel faded up. It’s on 13 or 14.”

Matthew: “No. He’s not on our system. Can you hear us Reg, when we talk? Can you hear us Reg? Can you hear us in your cans, Reg? 

Reg: “Sorry?”

Matthew: “Can – you – hear – us – in – your – cans – Reg.”

Reg: “No”

Matthew: “Oh right. Reg can’t hear us in his cans.”

I run into the room and turn up the speech channel on Reg’s headphone mixer.

Matthew: “Oh! He can? Now try. Can you hear us in your cans? Have you got the right ear on?”

Reg: “Yes I can hear you.”

Matthew: “Oh good. Jolly good. Excellent. He’s a sound engineer you know.”

Reg: “Yeah. It was alright right leaving me guys.”

Mick: “Sam’s in tears look.”

Nigel (theatrical commentary): “Matthew can hear Malcolm. Malcolm can hear Nigel, but Nigel can’t hear Mick. Mick can hear Reg, but Reg can’t hear anything.”

Matthew: “Nigel chooses not to hear anything at all.”

Little Sister programme appears in the headphones.

Eusabio: “You should be able to hear the programme now.”

Nigel: “Are we in communication?”

Malcolm: “Yes with one another.”

Nigel: “This is the blind leading the deaf.”

Michelle (on talkback, 200 miles away): “Hello chaps, can you hear me?”

Matthew: “I can hear you and I can hear me.”

Michelle: “Hello? Can anybody hear me?”

Reg: “This is called wireless.”

Malcolm: “What did you have for breakfast?”

Michelle: “Hello Hello! Can you hear me?”

Everybody: “Hello!”

Matthew: “Can you hear us?”

Reg: “I’ve always wanted to work in communications.”

Malcolm: “This is the Bionic Glock Shop calling Earth.”

Michelle: “Hello, Maid Of Orleans. Is that the Bionic Glock Shop? This is Michelle up north. Hello. Can you hear me?”

Matthew: “Yes I can.”

Michelle: “Ah, I can hear you now! Can you hear me?”

Nigel: “We could always hear you.”

Malcolm: “It would be nice to hear you a bit louder but I’m not sure if that’s your end or our end.”

Michelle: “Sorry I couldn’t hear you. We had a little speaker turned down. Now, Reg, seeing as you are the most senior member of the group, would you like to be spokesperson during the interview?”

Reg: “Of course.”

Michelle: “Fantastic, we’ll be with you in two records time.”

Nigel: “That’s great, that’s all fine.” 

Michelle: “Thanks very much.”

Matthew: “Very cool.”