Pop Shield

The heavy art deco doors at the entrance to the Old Mothership may be beautiful, but boy are they dysfunctional. They consist of two sets of three double doors, and on any given day a random two of the six ever seem to be working. They open automatically, but so slowly that you have to walk like a prowling tiger with an uncomfortable stop-start gait, trying to disguise your fear that they might swallow you up altogether.

Once inside the entrance, the two revolving security doors fare no better. Far too small for some of us, they require more of a tap on the card reader – dash – penguin shuffle action. I’ve seen portly colleagues get right stuck in them and cause a ruckus.

Years ago, when everyone told me how hard it was to get into the Corporation, I didn’t realise they meant this.

So, imagine my delight when I entered the building recently to discover that the two revolving doors have been replaced by one enormous glass revolving door. Hurrah! At last, we can enter our workplace through something which has been sensibly designed!

So, I carry out my shift and come back down to the entrance ready to exit the lovely new door. But when I get there, there’s a commotion going on with staff backed-up along the corridor and a security guard shouting through the glass ‘Pull it out! You’ve got to PULL IT OUT to reset it!”.

Hmm, now what’s this all about? Well, it immediately becomes clear. In order for the door to revolve you have to press a button. But no, not the HUGE RED BUTTON RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR NOSE but the high up insignificant-looking camouflaged black button up at the top. Hurrah – another triumph!