Pop Shield

If there’s one radio guest that you don’t want to have to try to engage in a lengthy technical discussion from the other end of an ISDN circuit five thousand miles away it’s probably the diminutive top-heavy country song writing legend Molly Carton.  But that’s another story.

And if there’s a man on this planet who you would least rather have an “is your radio turned off / is your phone fully charged / how many bars of signal do you have / are you off hands-free / are you parked in a safe place with the windows wound up?” kind of conversation with its chirpy Liverpudlian Sir Pete McCarthy from 60’s pop phenomenon The Bugs who’s in the middle of the school run and a bit stressed as he’s about to go and catch an aeroplane.

It’s the morning show on Nations Favourite Radio and Sir Pete is expected to break normal protocol (a right reserved by the extra famous) by calling in on one of the control room telephones. Unbeknownst to the host of the show, it will be a surprise interview to promote his new record.  There are two minutes to go until Sir Pete is due on air and the watched phone sits there all silently.  Tom’s on tenterhooks, we are collectively willing time to slow down. Oh, and as if that’s not enough pressure, the Deputy Head of The Corporation is sat watching. Mr Tickle has scheduled an extra-long seventies track to eke out the time but still no sign of McCar.  There’s a standby guest ready to go.  Tick tick.  Record ends.  Long chat with the sports guy, good, good, and then…here comes the interview, oh damn, fade the backup girl up.

Soon after the replacement interview gets on air the telephone in question shrilly bursts into life.  Tom answers, has a brief chat and then says, “Sir Pete on TBU2”. I divert the call to the mixing desk, hit the pre-fade to check the line.  And what do you know, it’s a bad one!  Ffzz Ffzz Zpp.  Och. Here goes. “Hello, Pete, it’s the engineer here.” “Oh Hi. Ab dib bup hep sczscz.”  Pants.  “Pete, your line appears to be a little noisy.  Are you hearing the program ok?“. This time the reply comes back audible. “Yes, thank you, all sounding good to me”. Hallelujah. “And you’re sounding loud and clear to us now too, please stay on the line we’ll be with you any moment”. Cue Top Cat. “Now guess who’s just phoned in!  It’s Sir Pete McCarthy!  Hello Pete, are you there?”

No choice but fade it up and hold my breath.  It’s not so easy to try and operate machinery whilst crossing your fingers. Thankfully it sounds fine, and it’s getting better all the time.