Pop Shield

Late 70’s psychedelic punk rockers Another One Alone are booked in for a Vibe session in the Little Sister kitchenette.  The producer has warned me it’s going to be full blown and very noisy.  Despite this, the band plus entourage arrive in reception carrying two acoustic guitars, a snare drum, a bass guitar and the smallest bass amp I have ever seen.

Upstairs in the kitchenette, no one is in a hurry to get any work done.  The boys discover the delights of the Little Sister coffee machine while The Party Princesses hang out with them.  It’s got the feel of a student’s bedroom at 2am.  At times, organizing musicians can feel a little like herding cats. I try and usher them all in the vague direction of the mics I’ve set out for them.  I explain that they should perform ‘in the round’.  They claim that this sounds like a brilliant idea, but nonetheless the drummer stays put on the sofa in the corner.

“Shall I bring the mic over to you or would you like to come and sit over here with everyone else?” I ask.

He looks bewildered. “When you said play in the round, around WHAT were you referring to?”  he says.

“Well around the centre of the room, in a circle, sitting on these chairs, in front of these monitors.”  I reply.

“Oh”, he says. “Ok.”

Soundcheck starts.  It all feels a bit odd because the bass is coming really loud out of the tiny amp, while the acoustic guitars are really quiet, and the lead singer is wearing shades and asking for stadium-sized amounts of his voice in the monitor.  Best of all, the drummer has not opened his snare drum case and instead he is tapping the top with his fingers.

The drummer grabs me. “Can I ask you something?” he says.

“Sure!” I say, wondering what is going to come next.

“Do you have, by ANY CHANCE AT ALL, some kind of SPECIAL EFFECT you can put on THIS (indicates drum case) to make it sound REALLY INTERESTING and FAR OUT?”

“Yes, of course.”  I reply. “I’ll dial up something nice and a bit different to go on it.”

“Great!” says he. “Just make sure it sounds really, you know, like a VOYAGE OF DISCOVERY!”

We make a start.  However, things get even more strange when every single time we begin recording a mysterious noise appears.  Brrriiinnnggg!   It sounds like someone’s mobile phone going off.  I go back into the Kitchenette to track it down and go through all the ‘turn phones off’ palaver.  Then the noise happens again.  It is coming from the direction of the guitarist who is having a sip of tea out of a china mug.

“Do that again?” I ask.

Brrriiinnnggg!

The room erupts in laughter.  Turns out one of the kitchen mugs is a joke musical mug that plays a tune when you pick it up.  I swear I’ve never seen that mug before.  Or again, come to think of it.

And so it goes.  We do the session.  It sounds, well, unusual.  The boys seem happy, we call it a day.

“Did you manage to find something?” the drummer asks me at the end.

“Oh, yes, a nice spacey reverb, made it sound interesting!” I reply.

“Great, well done.” he says.

A few days later I receive a lovely email about how much they had enjoyed the session and how great it sounded.